Airport security – it’s a necessary evil that can bring out the worst in people. If you’re a frequent flyer or just a casual traveller, you’ve undoubtedly encountered at least one person who has made your experience just a little more…memorable. So buckle up, folks, and let’s take a look at the 15 worst kinds of people at airport security according to Reddit.
The unprepared frequent flyer
The bane of every seasoned traveller’s existence. You’d think after all those flights, they’d have their routine down pat, but nope, they still manage to fumble their way through security like a confused toddler in a ball pit.
You can spot them a mile away, fumbling through their bag for their passport, their liquids bag, their laptop, and God knows what else. Once they finally manage to get everything out, they proceed to take the longest time possible to remove their shoes and belt, despite the fact that they’ve gone through this process a million times before. And let’s not forget about the random metal objects they always seem to forget about, like the coins in their pocket or the giant belt buckle that sets off the metal detector.
And then there’s the way they shuffle through the body scanner like a confused penguin. Arms up? Arms down? Feet apart? Feet together? It’s like they’re performing some sort of bizarre interpretive dance.
The technology hoarder
Ah, the “tech-savvy” traveller, who thinks they need to bring every electronic device known to man on their trip. Watch in amazement as they hold up the security line for what feels like an eternity, trying to remove each gadget from their carry-on bag.
First up, they’ll inevitably take out their laptop, which they’ll proceed to gingerly place in its own special bin, as if it’s some sort of fragile artefact. Then comes the tablet, the e-reader, the noise-cancelling headphones, the portable charger, the smartwatch… the list goes on and on.
And of course, each item requires its own separate bin, which the tech-savvy traveller will meticulously arrange in a perfectly symmetrical pattern, as if they’re playing some sort of TSA-approved game of Tetris.
The water bottle clinger
You know the person I’m talking about – the one who is absolutely shocked, shocked, I tell you, that they can’t bring their full water bottle through security.
Despite the countless signs and announcements warning travellers about the liquids rule, this individual acts like they’ve been personally victimised by airport security. They’ll stand there, clutching their precious H2O like it’s the last drop of water on Earth, staring at the security officer in disbelief as they’re told they can’t bring it through.
The traveller who manages to cram a month’s worth of belongings into their carry-on bag. As they approach the X-ray machine, you can see the panic in their eyes, knowing that their bag is about to be put to the ultimate test.
Their bag is so stuffed that it looks like it’s about to burst at the seams. You can’t help but wonder how they managed to close it in the first place.
As they attempt to force their overstuffed bag onto the conveyor belt, the real fun begins. The bag won’t fit. It’s like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. They’ll push and shove, trying to get it in there, while the impatient travellers behind them start to grumble and mutter under their breath.
The parental mayhem
the joys of travelling with kids! The laughter, the tears, the sheer chaos! You know the type – the parents who take it to a whole new level, with their unchecked strollers, their children running amok, and their general air of pandemonium.
First off, there’s the strollers. They’ll push them around like they’re shopping carts, bumping into other travellers and causing traffic jams in their wake. And let’s not forget about the massive amounts of baggage they’re lugging around – it’s like they’re moving their entire household with them on vacation.
And then, there are the kids. Oh, the kids. They’ll run around like they’re in a playground, screaming and shouting and generally causing mayhem. They’ll climb on the chairs, they’ll pull on your luggage, and they’ll do everything they can to make sure that everyone in the airport knows they’re there.
The personal space invader
Yes, we all know the type – the person with no concept of personal space, who manages to make an already stressful situation even more uncomfortable.
First off, there’s the heavy breathing. You can hear them from a mile away, like a steam engine chugging down the tracks. It’s like they’re trying to inhale all the oxygen in the room in one giant gulp, while the rest of us struggle to breathe without feeling like we’re being suffocated.
And then, there’s the standing. Oh, the standing. They’ll position themselves so close to you that you can feel their breath on the back of your neck, like a creepy ghost whispering sweet nothings in your ear. You’ll try to shift away, to give yourself some breathing room, but they’ll inch closer and closer, like a cat stalking its prey.
The forgetful traveller
Keys, wallet, phone…what else could they possibly have left in their pockets? Oh, just about everything. Watch in awe as this person seemingly pulls an entire convenience store’s inventory from their pockets, much to the amusement (and frustration) of everyone in line.
The attention seeker
The insatiable need for attention! You know the type – the person who craves the spotlight and will do anything to make sure all eyes are on them.
They’ll start off innocently enough, cracking jokes and making small talk with their fellow travellers. But soon, their true colours will show. They’ll start making inappropriate jokes, pushing the boundaries of good taste and causing uncomfortable silence to descend upon the group.
And if that’s not enough to get attention, they’ll start causing a scene. They’ll raise their voice, draw attention to themselves, and generally act like a toddler who’s just been denied a piece of candy. They’ll demand to speak to a manager, they’ll refuse to follow the rules, and they’ll do anything to get their way.
And let’s not forget about their volume. They’ll speak louder and louder, as if the decibel level of their voice is directly proportional to the amount of attention they’re receiving. They’ll talk on their phone, yell at their travel companions, and generally make it impossible for anyone within a ten-foot radius to hear themselves think.
In the end, you’ll emerge from the airport feeling like you’ve just survived a tornado. But fear not, dear traveller! Just remember to keep your wits about you, and don’t let the attention-seeker get the best of you. After all, we’re all in this together – even if some of us prefer to do it with a little more class than others.
Who can forget the bizarre moment when a confused traveller put himself though the baggage scanner 🤣 (watch the clip below).
They’ll look around, wide-eyed and bewildered, like they’ve just landed on a strange new planet. They’ll ask you questions like “What’s a boarding pass?” and “Where’s the gate?” and you’ll have to resist the urge to pat them on the head and say “Oh, sweetie, bless your heart.”
The last-minute lingerer
Procrastination is their middle name. Despite arriving at the airport with plenty of time, this traveller somehow still manages to be running late for their flight. Watch them frantically cut the line and beg for mercy as they try to avoid missing their plane.
There you have it, folks: the 15 worst kinds of people at airport security according to Reddit. While we can’t escape these annoyances completely, we can take solace in the fact that we’re not alone in our frustrations. So the next time you’re in line, just remember to take a deep breath, have a laugh, and maybe even share your own travel horror story on Reddit.